So I have been free from alcohol for 6 months. What did I expect at this juncture looking back? To be honest, when I started this journey I didn’t think I would last 6 months, or at least I thought it would difficult. I imagined that if I did, it would be largely because I no longer wanted to, or was tempted by alcohol. This has revealed itself to be true, in my case. I have no real desire to drink on most occasions. My only moments of desire are, as I have said in this blog before, when I am at a proper party or gig, I occasionally wouldn’t mind a beer, or even at a very good restaurant, where I would like a good glass of red wine, with a perfect meal. And even then the scale of desire, or uplift to my evening is now minimal and is easily sacrificed. Over the past 6 months my desire has dwindled to that of a pre drinker. Somewhere before alcohol crept into my sub conscious in teenage years.

I hope that any other alcohol dependent users can be inspired by what I have documented over the last 6 months and start their trial journey. No pressure, just see for yourself how you go. It has been incredible for me, unforeseen and surprising. So much so, it has been difficult to put into words at times. I feel more alive and happy, content than ever before. I am optimistic about the future, less anxious and relaxed in the present. I appreciate people better and look for the good in them, and as a result, am less cynical. I value my health more and subsequently have improved my physical strength and capacity to experience physical activity with joy. I listen more, have greater patience and attentiveness in conversation with others. Altogether I feel greater freedom from myself, my demons and the thoughts that shackled me to my previous mindset. I don’t fear the future, the what if’s, the constant ruminating narrative that once encaged me.

It is important for me to stipulate that my first step was to resign from my impossible job. This was probably my catalyst, but the most important decision to enable all the other bricks to fall, and allow me to pass through my alcoholic restraints. I hope that any users reading this can identify their first step. It is the most important in reclaiming your life. For me, I had become accustomed to spending £400 a month on booze and the thought of not being able to pay for alcohol was a major reason I feared resigning. Once I accepted that I would resign, be poorer and not have the funds to drink, everything fell into place. I was indeed less well off, but with a large mortgage to pay, 2 kids and bills I was terrified that I would not be able to afford alcohol if I went freelance. I felt trapped by the job, I needed the alcohol and couldn’t risk jeopardising that, and so I remained in that cycle for years, miserable at work, boozing every night to cope, and repeating the following day. Groundhog.

Now I’m free, I’m substantially poorer in terms of money, but my life is rich. My relationships all round are improving, including with my partner, who I am very grateful to for supporting me and forgiving me for my past behaviours, albeit probably never completely forgiven. I hope that my journey can continue, I accept the future is not written. One day at a time. Share and enjoy every moment as best as possible, and respect the difficult moments, they will pass, absorb and learn from them.

Life is precious, we only have one and it’s not just about our individual quests for pleasure. It’s a shared experience that needs to be cultivated and nurtured amongst many.

R.I.P. Richy Pitch 🕊️🤍